Monday, March 4, 2013

A contrast and a dream

A day at the Conservatory was followed by a snowfall.

This blog has become somewhat of a dream journal. I have been loosely writing my dreams down for as long as I can remember, but ever since I quit my job in late 2011 I have been religiously keeping track of them. Every night there is something and every day I record it. This has made my dreams, and my capacity to remember them, stronger. Mostly they are just images and surface shapes but sometimes, at least once or twice a month, I dream something that feels compelling and important for me to investigate. This is the latest such dream:

I dreamt that I lived inside of a huge, glass building with another woman. A great storm was coming and the building was expected to fill up with water. This flood was different though… I got the sense that this building was already underwater and that cracks in the surface were now going to let the water in. At first my roommate and I were attempting to seal off our apartment. We had tape and silicone and spent some time making the place waterproof. Just as we were feeling secure a young guy opened our door and shouted at us to follow him and get out. I became frantic. I started yelling at my roommate who was annoyingly calm and cool. I gathered my belongings in panicked armfuls. There was a bulletin board with photos from different parts and ages of my life. I paused in front of it and selected some photos to take with me, knowing somehow that whatever was left in the room would be forgotten and erased from my memories. I was crying and dropping things and knocking things over and begged my roommate to hurry! We finally left and descended down through the building, which was beautiful (like an underwater greenhouse). Somehow, despite the oncoming disaster, there were still people living inside, normal and calm. As we walked down the great staircase I felt myself grow incredibly sad. I took step after step haltingly, my body shaking with sobs and shrieks. I was so loud and disruptive that people stopped to look at me and my roommate grew annoyed and asked me what was wrong. I replied that I was loosing the only place that had ever felt like home.

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